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[buio]

@ptolemais

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[longlegs]

just
i guess the way you hurt me and made me feel good at the same time
seeing all that blood and [ why does she feel like she's about to set herself on fire ] liking it

[buio]

(Things Ptolemais was not expecting: this.)

All this time I was wondering if you were scared of me

(Is that a crazy leap? They didn't talk about it at all.)

[longlegs]

scared of what you thought of me, maybe

i know everything that happened back there was insane
there's not a lot we can hold against each other when we weren't in control, but it was still insane

at the same time i just want to understand why i still feel like this
or maybe there's nothing to understand and I'm just crazy

[buio]

I don't think you're crazy. I think you want to own it (Because she's been in this position before herself. Because she still dreams about that one night from her childhood going literally any other way.)

There's nothing to understand from what happened back there cuz we weren't ourselves, we were different
But here you're you and I'm me. If it happened again at least you'd know you were choosing it and wanting it. You wouldn't have to question it

[longlegs]

[ She reads it - once, twice, more than that, trying to take it in. After overthinking every word, ]

Were you here back in June?

[buio]

(Phew. Ptolemais was convinced for the entirety of the silence that she had said the wrong thing. You know, again.)

Nah. Got here in August

[longlegs]

back in june we all woke up as different people
or
more like different versions of ourselves
like what our lives would have been like if we'd been here from the start
i was saber's adopted daughter, devon and neon were my brothers
if you wanna talk about being different... that was definitely it

but also like
when we were back to normal the feelings still lingered?
a lot of it still felt real

do you think that some things that happened back at the commune might still be real?